Monday, December 31, 2018

My New Year's "Word"

It seems the hip thing to do these days instead of making New Year's resolutions is to have a word.

I'm good with that. After all, you can't break a word, right?  Even if I fall short on January 2, I can keep aspiring and refocusing.  A word is a mantra, not a rule. So I'm giving it a go.

And my 2019 word came to mind instantly:  Reconnect

To be honest, 2018 was a crazy roller coaster of awesomeness and awfulness.  Like most people, I posted the awesome and stuffed the awful.  

The result?  Disconnection.

I'm not a drama mama. I'm not a loud social media poster. I just get quiet. And I disconnect. Maybe that's the way of all introverts.  A few months ago, when my counselor told me to write out in detail about a specific, decades-old issue I was working through, my response was to stop journaling all together. To disconnect, even with myself.  

The worst of my disconnection was spiritual. I didn't stop reading. I didn't doubt. I didn't stray. I just sat on my Father's lap. Secure, but rarely making eye contact. Rarely accepting the gifts He was offering. And almost never writing, which - for me - is basically like not breathing.

When I finally got up the courage (aka fear of an "incomplete") to do the journaling assignment, it was brutally painful. But in reconnecting with the past, I found myself able to reconnect {surprise!} with the present.  (I should know this; I do, after all, have a master's degree in clinical social work. But there's a big difference between counseling others and practicing it on your own wounded self).

This reconnection in one area of my life woke me up. I'm realizing that I'm tired of being disconnected.  I'm especially tired of simply sitting on my Father's lap yet not delighting in the breathtaking gift of His Presence.

So I'm reconnecting.  

Reconnecting with who I am, who I was created to be and what I was created to do.  Reconnecting with my people. Helping those I love to reconnect.  Taking Aaron Burr's advice to smile more. Jumping off my Father's lap and grabbing His hand to skip, walk, run, or limp through whatever 2019 has in store, from the major milestones to the minor chords of life. Connecting wholeheartedly to the fullness of my Creator, Redeemer, Sustainer, whose goodness outshines the darkest night and eclipses the brightest day. 

I don't know what your word is for 2019, but whatever it is, I pray it brings you face-to-face with the One who knows you better than you know yourself, the One who offers you fullness of joy in the midst of any and all things.